Noba's Christmas Tidings Part I

Thanksgiving blew, because I was too busy studying and turkey dinner was actually turkey breakfast, as I ate it within an hour of waking up. So to make up for Thanksgiving, and to come up with some kind of Christmas message, I decided to post what Noba is thankful for this holiday season.

1. Michael Vick


#7 hurdling some poor bench-warming bastard who has lost the will to get out of the way

Michael Vick is a god among men. Not only has he made the Falcons watchable, he's also made the people of Blacksburg, VA proud to live there for the first time in their lives. Seriously, as an Atlantan, we can all be happy we have our own Michael Jordan. Especially since Isiah Rider left the Hawks *sigh*

2. The Bush Twins


Shall we to the Lincoln bedroom, my ladies?

No matter your political persuasion, there's one thing we can all agree upon: the Bush twins are hot. Not only are they freewheeling party girls carrying on Dubya's fine family tradition of being the Republican version of the Kennedys, they both hail from top institutions and call the leader of the free world "Pops." Jenna and Barbara could turn Barney Frank hetero. Not only that, but if you were, like, doing them, then you could probably get the Secret Service to beat the up somebody that pissed you off. That'd be cool.

3. This Guy Lost


Terrell Owens and John Kerry: Separated at birth?

You know, Americans don't ask much from a president. In the past 50 years we've let in a paranoid schizophrenic (Nixon), Hugh Hefner with a foreign policy advisor (Clinton), a guy that fell down alot (Ford), a guy that fell off horses alot (Reagan), a guy who'd lose a fight with Bea Arthur (Carter), and of course the lovable Dubya. But regardless of the faults of these men, I'm pretty sure they could catch a football without grimacing as if they were receiving a colon exam with rusty medical tools. Whew, that was a near-miss.

4. My Nephew

Stuffed animals fear the baby blue onesy.

My nephew is as pimp as a man can be while still soiling himself. Nothing scares this kid. I've never seen him cry, and he's got 4 teeth ready to bury in yo' ass if you step outta line. Imagine how much balls he'll have when his real ones drop down.


That's all for now...more to come. Season's frickin' greetings.