I Believe...

If you haven't seen the new "Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again," see it. It's just as funny as the first, and it'll go a long way towards helping you understand this next joke.

Still refuse to sit in front of Comedy Central until it comes on again? OK, then I'll just fill you in. At the end of the original "Blue Collar" and this new one, the guys sit together at the end and well, tell jokes, dumbass - they ARE comedians. But this time they had a little skit called "I Believe..." which was just them taking turns topping each other with punchlines to the same "I Believe set up." Examples:

"I believe... that if you can't say something nice, then you must be talking
about Hillary Clinton" (Jeff Foxworthy)

"I believe...that Britney Spears should be one of Baskin Robbins 31 flavors." (Larry the Cable Guy)

"I believe... if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. Then go find someone who life gave vodka to and have a big-ass party!" (Ron White) (Editor's Note: This is some of the best life advice you could ever get.)

"I believe...sometimes you have to wreck the truck to get the insurance money to make the truck payment." (Larry the Cable Guy)

"I believe.... that if you show me a three year old running around a flea market in his underpants drinking Coca-Cola out of a baby bottle, and I'll show you a future NASCAR fan." (Jeff Foxworthy)

"I believe.... that guns don't kill people, husbands that come home early do." (Larry the Cable Guy)

Those are more than enough examples to get the idea, but I wanted to put all I could remember because I really liked this skit, and thought I'd put a few things here that I believe. But I don't want to go after those guys, so gimme some time to get them written out and they'll be up soon. :-)