What's on My iPod?

Ok, I don't really have an iPod. But let's say I did. What would be on it? What if I got the absolute worst one and could only put maybe a couple dozen songs on it. Let's take a look/listen/whatever...


"Imagine" - By John Lennon. When I make lists of favorites, I feel guilty if I don't put a sentimental one up top. That why a movie like "Life is Beautiful" ranks up there with my other all time fav movies, like "Pulp Fiction." In music, the little angel on my right shoulder also wins out over the horned-tailed guy on my left. So, don't get me wrong, I do love "Imagine." But if one were to ever "see me bumpin' down the block," I can promise you this would not be the song my hydraulics would be bouncin' for. Hydraulics. On a Camry. Right.

"Dark Side of the Moon" - Pink Floyd. Screw one song, this whole album would go on my hypothetical music-playing thingy. I used to fall asleep to this cd almost every night during my third year of college. Also really cool when you play it with the Wizard of Oz, which, of course, I do all the time. Right. Seriously though, listening to this album reminds me why Radiohead are a bunch of bitches.

"Ambitionz az a Ridah" - 2Pac. I could choose lots of Pac's songs to go on my non-existent MP3 player, but this would be the essential one. Why? Well, nothing puts me in touch more with my inner-wigger than lyrics like, "I'm smokin' bomb ass weed, feeling crucial, from playa to playa the game is tight, the feelin's mutual."

"Wonderwall" - Oasis. Hey, I am an Oasis fan. Always was, always have been. I went to their concert at the Fox in Atlanta in...I guess it was '97 or 98. The guys are real jerk, no doubt. During "Champagne Supernova," Liam pantomined masturbating into the face of a girl in the front row. How charming. Nevertheless, those songs and songs like "Don't Look Back in Anger" and "D'Yknow What I Mean?" are some of the best British rock in years. Recently, a BBC poll taken in the UK to find out the best British song of all time. The Brits actually selected "Wonderwall." That's pretty damn remarkable considering who did NOT get the #1 spot - The Rolling Stones and those guys called The Beatles.

"You Can Try" - Khaleel. OK, here's an unknown for you. This guy is a former member of the popular southeastern regional band "Super 8," as well as a former protege of Ice-T. However, he's no rapper. His stuff is bluesy rock, and he's most famous for touring with Rusted Root a few years ago. I definitely suggest you go to amazon.com and look for his CD "People Watching." It's good shit, and since its a 1999 CD from an unknown, it's more than reasonably priced at $2.

"Angel" - Sarah McLachlan. Yeah, yeah...I listen to Sarah once in a while. Sue me. She deserves to be on my list for more reasons than her being mad hot in the sultry- mature-not-a-skank-like-Christina-Aguilera kinda way.

"SpottieOttieDopalicious" - Outkast. This is the song that should have gotten all the airplay that steaming hunk of doo doo known as "Roses" got last year. It's got a jazz flavor, and it works as a slow song, cruise song, or mellow-out song. Brillant stuff, and I love the lyric: "When I first met my spottieottiedopalicious angel, I remember that damn thing like yesterday..the way she moves reminded me of a brown stallion horse with skates on, ya know? Smooth like a hot comb on nappy-ass hair. I walked up on her, and was almost paralyzed, her neck was smelling sweeter than a plate of yams with extra syrup." Now THAT is songwriting.

"Juicy" - Notorious B.I.G. One of Biggie's first and best still shines, even with Puffy in the background going "Yeah. Take that, take that, take that. Uh-huh. That's right. It's all good" the whole time.

"Bombtrack" - Rage Against the Machine. Rage is still one of my fav bands, and they're known for being incendiary. Still, few of their songs are as explosive as the one that literally started it all - "Bombtrack," the first tune on their self-titled debut. Now all we have is Audioslave, which is Rage with a wimpy lead singer.

"Sledgehammer" - Peter Gabriel. I was riding in my car one time with someone, and this early 80s song started playing off the cd I just burned. It was met with laughter, but I can justify my willingness to listen to it in the year 2005. It's one of the first and probably still one of the best music videos ever played on TV. Not coincedentally, the home videos of me dancing to this at age 5 must be burned immediately.

"Kodachrome" - Paul Simon. Another one that's kinda lost on our generation. Mr. Simon's best song, in my opinion. Way better than the one about him hanging out with the mexican dude by the schoolyard.

"Don't Push" - Sublime. My iPod would have at least a dozen Sublime tunes on it, but this would probably get the most spin. No other song can fit every mood I have and every thing I'm doing than Bradley Nowell's anthem off of "40 Oz. to Freedom." The lyrics are as smooth as the beats.."I want a lover, but I can't find the time..I want a reason, but I can't find the rhyme."

Screw this, I'm going to listen to some music. Somebody buy me an iPod.